Life is really all about making adjustments, isn’t it? As children, we adjust to the rules our parents lay down for us, and, of course, we rebel against some of them. As students we adjust to the discipline required to obtain an education. As young adults we adjust to the pressures of earning a living, dating, getting married, raising children, buying a house. In middle age we adjust to grown children, empty nests, the return of the grown children, and setting the stage for retirement.
Which brings us to the senior stage, where I happen to reside now. Again, there are adjustments. More free time. Health concerns. Managing money so that you will have enough. Grandchildren. New aches and pains every day. By this time hopefully we are old enough and wise enough to make the necessary changes in our routine and lifestyle to maintain at least a reasonably good quality of life and happiness.
You get used to not being able to do things as nimbly and athletically as you could when you were younger. You get used to having to take a little more time to get up off the floor after sitting down to play with the grands. You get used to taking pills. You get used to waking up earlier in the morning, going to bed earlier at night, eating lunch at 11am and dinner at 5pm…..promptly. Frequent doctor appointments. Getting confused by technology.
But as long as the Good Lord allows me to live, there is one thing I will never get used to. As the years pass on, I keep losing good friends. Sweet people with whom I have so many treasured memories and experiences. Folks who are just part of me. I guess that’s why I take their passing so hard, because a part of me, that relationship that we shared, dies with them.
Yes, I’m getting older. Most of my circle of friends and acquaintances are around my age, and thus it’s inevitable that some will cross the bridge. Of course I understand it, but I haven’t learned to handle it well. Don’t guess I ever will.
The Covid outbreak, when it was at its worst, was especially heartbreaking. It took several of those whom I loved. Other diseases continue to do the same. Just recently, it happened again. Her name was Carol Miller. Cancer got her. She was a subscriber and frequent commenter on this blog. Many of you readers know her, and that’s not a coincidence. Carol was one of those salt of the earth people who drew people to her like bees to honey. I first met Carol and her awesome husband Guy when they joined my Sunday School class many years ago. She was the first to volunteer whenever any act of ministry needed to be organized or done. She and Guy opened up their home for countless get- togethers and bonding activities. She was a leader of Christian mission groups both local and regional. Most of all, she was a loyal friend, to me and to everyone she met.
We just can’t afford to lose the Carol Millers. This troubled world needs them too desperately. I suppose it should be encouraging that she leaves behind an incredible legacy. She has inspired many, both young and old, to follow her leadership and example. She showed us how it’s done. Hers is a life well lived.
I guess I will get used to not hearing from her now and then, not seeing her supportive comments on this blog, on my Facebook wall and elsewhere. But I’ll never forget her. It seems trite and inadequate to restate the old adage, but it remains so true: treasure every moment with those you care about, because our time with them is finite.
I have learned to live with that.
But I’ll never get used to it.
❤️
Such beautiful sweet words. Carol and I met when she served at Sav-A-Life. Of course we ended up at the same church as well. She was a precious soul and such an inspiration to many.
So true Ken. We can all relate to that feeling. We are so blessed on this earth to have friends like Carol. It gives me a warm and fuzzy to know that you will see her again, “cancer free”.
Thanks Bob. Hope all is well with your bunch.
Ken, I only knew Carol for a few years but her illness and death hit me hard. She inspired so many, including myself. Her energy and sacrificing for those in need was something you don’t see everyday. May we carry that inspiration of her life with us everyday as we push on serving our Savior! She would expect no less!
Ken those are such kind words for my wife Carol. We enjoyed so much getting to know you and all the folks in your Sunday School class. You are a great teacher and servant of the Lord. Thank you for your friendship and leadership.
Guy…thinking a lot about you and praying for you and your family.
This is such a beautiful post about sweet Carol and loving those we care about. Thank you. I will treasure my memories of Carol Miller. Her walk with Christ and her service taught us all how we could do the same. She showed us how to minister each and everyday.
Amen Karen.
So beautifully written Ken. Yesterday a memory from July 10, 2011 popped up on my FB page. It was Carol sending me prayers for a good first day of work at Trinity GI Lab. on the following day. She was such a sweet soul and she will be missed by so many.
Your words are so true, “I’ll never get used to this”.
Lee Ann Ratcliff
Yes, Lee Ann, I think we’re all going to miss her incredible thoughtfulness.
Ken,
I so enjoy your blog and one is definitely one of my favorites! You are blessed with the wonderful talent of writing! I always look forward to reading your thoughts. I am sorry of the loss of your dear friend, she sounded amazing!
I hope you and Sharon have a wonderful day!
Dawn Lunsford
Thank you so much for those kind words Dawn. I so appreciate you reading the blog. I wish you would have known Carol.
Amen
You said this so beautifully. One of the hardest things about growing old is losing family and friends. Carol was a beautiful person. She was loved by so many.
Carol was one of a kind and will be missed by so many!!
This is beautifully written. Thank you, Ken. Carol touched so many lives and made everyone feel special.
Beautiful words about a beautiful lady! I grew up across the street from Carol and her parents in Milton. She was always such a sweet person. What a legacy she leaves for her family. Keeping them in my prayers.
I can only pray that when I leave this world, so many people will feel my absence. What a life well-lived! I’m so thankful for the mentor that Carol was to me❤️
A beautiful tribute! I really enjoyed working with her on a few mission projects. She was so energetic and loved Jesus. She made working for him a joy!
So true. And I’m learning to purpose to get together with loved ones who are no longer in my daily life. Because when they are gone, I will miss them.
Oh Ken, I can sooooo relate to your comments. This age that we’ve ascended to is very difficult. New aches and pains every day and so many friends with illnesses or those who have passed. I am sorry to read about the passing of your wonderful friend. But you are blessed to have had her in your life. And now I have just learned I have endometrial carcinoma! I cannot believe any of this. ME, with cancer; must be a dream! So tomorrow I will learn my fate; the oncologist will explain what can be done. Your writings always get me to a better place, so keep sharing your words of wisdom. They are so much appreciated. Take care old friend!
Ruth, I am so sorry to hear this. I will pray for you every day. You are not alone.