Somebody Lend Me a Hand

This may take awhile. I’m typing this blog entry with one hand. My left hand. Which is problematic, because I am right-handed. I mean severely right-handed. My left hand has always been pretty useless.

Why this condition you ask? Wish I knew. I have somehow managed to injure the tendon, or ligament, or muscle, or whatever it is that connects your thumb to your wrist and arm. As a result, whenever I try to move my thumb, it sends a shockwave up through my arm that resembles what I can only imagine is what electrocution must feel like. There’s not much you can do for it except to keep it stable and let it heal on its own. Hence, I am currently one handed.

This is nothing new for me. I have spent a lifetime pulling, spraining, straining and dislocating various parts of my body. But here’s the thing. In the past my infirmities have always been the result of some sort of stressful activity or exercise, be it jogging, biking, playing tennis, swinging a golf club, or just bending over all day bagging leaves. Want to know what challenging activity resulted in my wounded thumb this time?

I reached out on my bathroom counter to grab my toothpaste tube.

That’s it. That’s all I did. Just reached out and suddenly pop! I felt something snap, like a rubber band breaking.

Life without the use of your thumb pretty much means life without the use of your hand. I never realized how critical the thumb is to everything you do with the other fingers. With my pathetic left hand, I couldn’t do simple things. I couldn’t twist the top off a bottle of water. I couldn’t strap on my watch. I couldn’t pull my dresser drawers open. Brushing my teeth left-handed is awkward. Flossing is out of the question. Eating is tricky. Cutting meat is almost impossible, and I keep missing my mouth with my fork.

Can’t do my beloved daily crossword puzzle. Tried to fill in the blanks writing left-handed, but the letters look more like ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics. I couldn’t open the wrapper of a protein bar. I had to resort to my childhood habit of putting the wrapper in my mouth and ripping it with my incisor teeth. I managed to put a tear into it, but then what? My opposite-hand fingers weren’t sufficiently coordinated to split the wrapper open wide enough to get the bar out.

Takes about fifteen minutes to put on socks. Tying my shoes? No way. Heck, just pulling my pants up left-handed is an effort (too much information?).

Is this what it’s come to? Is this what life in my senior years will be like? Popping and snapping various body parts just by trying to exist?

Okay, by now I am sensing that you are getting tired of reading my whining. I get it. I want to make it clear that I am profoundly aware of how blessed I am. Something like this truly makes you appreciate the stuff in life you take for granted, especially when it comes to your health. There are so many others dealing every day with far worse things. They do so bravely and without complaint. I so admire their courage and patience. I want to give all of them a big thumbs up.

If I could.

22 thoughts on “Somebody Lend Me a Hand”

  1. I broke my right arm in 8th grade and was told that unless I learn to write with my left hand I could fail and not graduate. I learned to print left handed enough that it could be read and by the end of the six weeks in a cast I was able to catch and throw the kickball enough to make all three outs in the outfield and our team won the game.

  2. So sorry for your injury and hope it heals soon. It is so amazing how we take for granted our physical being until something breaks or malfunctions.

  3. Ken, the good news is that you are creating new pathways in your brain. Dementia is now further away. Aging is a fun excise. Keep the blogs coming in 2022!!!!

  4. Ken! I’m so sorry! But I SO enjoy these blogs from you, even if they take longer to write lately. Keep it up my friend!

  5. I feel your pain, but you failed to mention that while children heal quickly and completely, in short order, mature individuals in our age group take at least twice as long and a twinge of shockwaves may remain, unexpectedly, for quite some time! Welcome. You are in good company and humor is one of the best medicines!

  6. Wow! That’s a bummer to start the New Year! It’s probably no consolation that most of us seniors( and I’m much older than you!) can identify all too well!
    I’m sure sweet Sharon will cut your meat up! Hey! You may even be able to milk this !
    Happier New Year

  7. Feeling so bad for you and equally as bad for Sharon who must be filling in all those spots you cannot do😊 There are hand therapists (occupational therapists ) that maybe could help

  8. I’m so sorry, Ken. Hope it heals soon. I have a hip problem. It’s almost bone on bone so I can’t walk. I’m now using a scooter that my son got me. I has been a life saver, but there’s not a corner baseboard that does not have the paint taken off from being hit. I’m not that good of a driver I guess. I agree that you don’t know what it’s like to not be able to use a part of your body. I hope to have surgery soon but it may be a few months away. Keep us updated on your thumb. I love you blog!

  9. I feel your pain. I had to shoulder pop and had to have it fixed. I hope you had someone look at it. If you popped something it may need to be put back together before it will heal sufficiently to be useful again.

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