Just Toying With You

Want to know whether you are still hip? Here are two things that I have learned. First of all, when I tell my kids that I am still hip, they tell me “Dad, we know you’re not hip because you still use the word ‘hip’.

So, if you find yourself still using the word “hip”, rest assured that you are not.

The other thing is, you know you are no longer……in, groovy, with it….whatever, if you cannot accurately answer the question: What are the hottest Christmas toys this season?

So, in my continuing effort to be down with it, bad, way cool and rad to the max, I make it a point to peruse the internet every December to ascertain what’s hot and what’s not in the world of Christmas toys for kids. And what I have discovered is that we have come a long way from G.I. Joe’s and Etch-A-Sketches.

Apparently, the item in highest demand for girls is Gabby’s Dollhouse. Gabby is a cat and its abode is promoted as “the purrfect dollhouse”. With a price tag of $102.99, it better be purrfect enough for me to sleep in it in a pinch.

What do little boys love more than miniature race cars and dinosaurs? Nothing of course. So why not combine the two into one super awesome toy? Allow me to introduce you to the Hot Wheels Robo T-Rex Ultimate Garage. It’s a series of tracks winding around and down a couple of parking towers. As the mini race cars speed around the course, a toothy dinosaur slides down the center trying to gobble them up. My grandkids actually have this toy. Sadly, they are often disappointed, as the action requires a fairly complex series of coordinated movements, which seldom come off correctly. At $99.00, I want my T-Rex dropping and eating cars, not getting stuck to its platform.

For $298.00, your child/grandchild can be the proud owner of a GoTrax Electric Scooter. The ad says it will go up to 15.5 miles per hour, which means you can go faster than the traffic on highway eleven. The Snackin’ Sam Animatronic Brontosaurus will eat plastic popsicles for $49.99. Remember when kids used Legos to build houses and cars? It’s a little more sophisticated now. For $169.92, you can surprise your little one with a Legos Avengers Helicarrier. If you’re lucky, you might figure out how to assemble it by next Christmas. And once you do, you may ponder exactly what it is. It may be a ship, or a highway transport vehicle, or a fast food restaurant. I’m not sure. Just put a helicopter on it and don’t ask questions.

But by far, the toy that most intrigues me, is the Ms. Monopoly board game. I quote from the promotional ad:

“In this version of Monopoly, women actually get a higher payout at the start of the game and more money for passing go (taking the gender pay gap into an alternate reality where men actually make less). And, what’s even cooler, is that instead of buying properties, players will buy innovative inventions by women. So, you’re not buying Boardwalk and Park Place, you’re buying Chocolate Chip Cookies and Stem-Cell Isolation!”

Now there’s a gift you can give to your young ones this Christmas that will truly make you look hip.

Oops. Sorry.