Random thoughts about this strange and wonderful journey:
I have noticed that if I slowly and gently sneak on top of the bathroom scale, instead of just abruptly stepping on it, my weight is about a pound lighter. Make sure you get off quickly before your scale realizes you’ve tricked it.
Am I the only one who has completely forgotten how to adjust the clock in my car by the time daylight savings changes?
If I see a “lane closed ahead” sign while driving on the freeway, I dutifully pull over into the stacked up through-lane immediately. Then I sit and do a slow boil as I watch other cars drive in the closed lane all the way up to the merge point, and wind up getting let in way ahead of me. Can’t tell if I’m mad at them or at myself for not doing it.
Why is the TV always tuned to CNN in the waiting room of the auto service department? Maybe they want you to get used to hearing a lot of bad news so you won’t explode when they show you the bill.
It’s amazing how sound can carry. If I go out in my backyard on a quiet day, I can hear two of my neighbors talking to each other nearly a block away. Hmmm….makes me wonder what I have said about my neighbors in the backyard.
My dog must be thinking….why do I have to do my duty out in the rain and cold when you get to stay in the nice, comfortable bathroom? This could explain the unpleasant little surprises I sometimes find.
It has become nearly impossible for me to watch a television program in real time because of the length of the commercial breaks. My DVR has risen to the top three of the most important things in my life, right after God and family. (and sometimes second place is a toss-up)
I’m so jealous of all these men who can grow these thick, full-face beards that are so popular now. When I try, my face looks like a garden after three months of drought.
It just doesn’t seem right to have to pay to make the air pump work at the gas station. Shouldn’t air be free? What’s next? A charge for breathing?
I don’t get how so many restaurants can advertise that they serve “home cooking”. Nothing in a restaurant is home cooking unless the chef is making it in his own kitchen and bringing it to work.
You see that random item in your house every single day. So why is it not there when you actually need it?
Disturbing trend: Looks like hotels are getting away from supplying bibles in the drawers. The last few I have stayed in had none.
If you wear a ball cap for a long period of time, eventually you forget its there. But then when you take it off, it feels like it’s still there.
Why do people push elevator buttons that are clearly lit up and have already been pushed?
No matter how old I get, when I have to twist a cap or knob, I have to revert back to the childhood phrase “righty tighty, lefty loosey”.
I am amazed at how some people can’t tell the difference between a movie theater and their own living rooms, and thus feel free to talk out loud during the entire picture. And why do they always manage to sit directly behind me?
How can some people stand forever in a long line at the concession stand, but when they get up there they still don’t know what they want?
And finally, why did the Good Lord make you and me so perfect, and yet built so many flaws in so many other folks?